Self-Righteousness SDL

As a vegetarian, I learned quickly that simply explaining my choice is usually enough. I don't need to go into reasons or say anything else. Then I pause and see if the other person has any questions, and let them express their feelings. If the other person is curious, they will ask. If they have misperceptions, they will state them! 
Other's response to what is seen as an ethical role or ethical decision tells more about the other person's mindset and feelings about themselves than about you or your behavior, usually. Generally, when this type of "projection" occurs, my response is to say, "wow that's interesting, tell me more." which can really take the person aback. Of course, this is easier in a one on one conversation. The dynamic can be different if you, as the "sustainability leader" are not in a powerful position, or are outnumbered and confronted with this impression in front of others or by a larger group. Being open to listening can still work in that context but it is more difficult to stay centered and calm in this type of situation. 
It is natural for humans to want to do things that make them feel good - either about themselves or in the moment. Dealing with the climate crisis can either be seen as an opportunity to do something instead of feeling powerless, or it can be seen as something to hide from becuase it requires openness to change, personal reflection, and facing the future. These are scary things to do for most people. Bravery requires being able to handle fear and people that cannot handle their fear tend to use labels like "judgemental." Helping others face their fear and feel the powerfulness of being empowered to act can be transformative.  Alison Nash <anash@sasaki.com>
Sasaki Associates, Inc.  

Beautifully described, Alison. Douglas, being an agent for change is not easy. In advocating for sustainable design, one strategy that I find helpful is a focus on the business case for sustainability. An increasing number of our institutional, municipal and corporate clients have climate action and ESG goals. Our approach can help them achieve their goals, and propose metrics that offer objective accountability to document change. These metrics go beyond LEED or other certifications to: GHG emissions, reduced energy and water use, reduced VMT, healthy materials, productivity and presenteeism, and most importantly: attraction and retention of talent. It's also worth evaluating the time that might be saved for adopting higher sustainability goals, either in the entitlements pathway or the construction period. Hope this helps. – Tamar Warburg Director of Sustainability sasaki.com On

Timely relevant article: https://www.theatlantic.com/science/archive/2022/06/moral-virtue-signaling-vegans/661353/ - Dan

I love this prompt and amazing response, Allison. This kind of thing also feels exacerbated by the times, doesn't it? Lately i've been more aware of how working from home has impacted relationships, so just thought I'd bring bring that in as well. I love the advice of not forgetting to work on the spaces between those times you want to be heard - getting in your "cuddle time" with people, as someone put it once to me. These days, that means more face time for me, and it's amazing how the trust springs back into place. Somewhat related is Brene Brown's "trust is marbles in a jar" thing: If you want to win someone over, it is probably not as much about knowing how to say just the right thing in that moment, but about collecting little positive interactions (the marbles) over time.

I don't know that this is tip or trick, but in a moment of extreme frustration I found this podcast: https://plumvillage.org/podcast/from-extraction-to-regeneration-healing-ourselves-healing-society-episode-16/ I've now listened to nearly all of the episodes of the podcast while I run or garden, it helps me recharge and feel calmer about my role in trying to do better by this planet.