The editors and researchers for GreenSpec get more submissions from manufacturers wanting to get their products listed than we can keep up with. As GreenSpec is a "best of the best" directory reserved for the top 10% or so of the most environmentally preferable products available to contribute to a sane built environment, we end up rejecting most of them for not meeting our high standards. Sometimes we get pitches for fine products, but they just don't represent the top of the heap. (GreenSpec is intended to be a reference to the best stuff we know about, and a launching pad for additional research. Attempting to create and maintain a fully comprehensive compendium of everything that's even slightly green would not only be practically undoable, it would actually be much less useful in defining high benchmarks.) Often, we get pitched products that are just plain outside of the scope — GreenSpec doesn't include things that aren't directly about the action of creating (and to a small degree, maintaining) the built environment. And, just as surely as it crosses your desks, ever-increasingly brazen greenwashing is crossing ours. Sometimes — rarely — we'll get a submission that comes in at such an unexpected curve that we just have to step back and admire the spin. I'm not talking about evil marketing cabals — I think that most people do honestly believe the things they tell us (and themselves) — nor am I talking about the delusional and/or the apparently clueless. It's our job to sort all of that out. I'm talking about unexpected, funny, and earnest, but utterly futile and inappropriate gestures from so far out in left field that we never would have guessed anything like it was coming. Introducing the Footopia Patio Foot Spa, from Ashiyu. It's a 40-gallon, double-walled resin, bowl-shaped Jacuzzi for your feet, lined with river rock and serviced by a 1.5 kW heater and a 1.5 hp pump — with several available options, including multicolored lights. In the submission form presented to us, the environmental attributes were described by comparing its energy, water, and chemical use to that of a four-person hot tub. Which is sort of like comparing a little tangerine to a big grapefruit, but the intent and merit of the argument was noted. There aren't any third-party efficiency standards in place for these kinds of devices, so that's what tends to happen. This product is appropriate for the glossy pages of lifestyle magazines, but it ain't our thing. Nor did we consider it all that green. What rocked our world (in a really fun way) was a couple sentences near the end of their submission:

"Also, our product is cool, smart and sexy. From experience we can say no one will fault your eco-impiety for listing our spas among less fun products like pavers or siding."

Outstanding! We laughed and laughed.